Accomplice: First, I would say it is deserved. Second, it is the truth. Accomplice: Did you not even think about why I would be angry with you? Accomplice: Do you truly believe that I would bother with asking you to retrieve my gift for you if I did not give a damn? I would have simply dedicated it to Cosmo otherwise.
Accomplice: ... Accomplice: I am tempted to ask what YOU think, but unfortunately I fear I have a rather good idea of what you think. Accomplice: Or rather, what you are afraid of.
Accomplice: Yes, well. Accomplice: I am a different kind of idiot. Accomplice: A rather established fact by now. Accomplice: ... Accomplice: Whether to safeguard or break it is your choice. Accomplice: Just... make the right one. Accomplice: And there are still other considerations, of course. And even with Serenity's help it is possible that my body and mind will not be as forgiving as my heart. I trust you to be understanding about that, too.
Accomplice: Thank you. Accomplice: ... Accomplice: About the memory... Accomplice: Maybe it would be best if I showed you everything that happened. Accomplice: There were... rather better moments, too. Accomplice: And I think there were important things we've talked about. Myself and another part of you, I mean. Accomplice: Though I do not know if it would be fine to involve Cosmo in it. We spoke of your past and your relationship with your brother... and I do not know how much of it he knows.
Accomplice: I am glad to hear it. I will call on him later, then. As you would need to be present, I would first resort to Pseudean Falsification... Hopefully, that will be enough. Otherwise... we'll need to find some other way for me to get used to seeing you again. Accomplice: ... Accomplice: I want to say that I missed you, but I am scared to do so, as well.
Accomplice: I believe Cosmo's presence will be enough. Accomplice: But mostly I fear to be a manner of danger, myself. Accomplice: You see... Accomplice: Sigh. Accomplice: It's hard to put into words. Accomplice: I suppose I simply cannot tell how much of my reaction is genuinely mine and how much is born of fear. Accomplice: Because back there I was terrified enough that I would have done anything to placate him. And now I cannot help but worry that my desire to see you is that fear seeking a way out. Accomplice: If I wish to see you, it should be because I want to, not because I am desperate for your favour again.
[Well that fucking sucked to type out! Please appreciate his efforts at self-therapy! He's going to get a drink now!]
Re: 334
Date: 2021-02-20 08:55 am (UTC)Absinthe: I would be surprised if you had trusted me beforehand
Re: 334
Date: 2021-02-20 08:56 am (UTC)Accomplice: Wait a moment.
Accomplice: You thought I did not?
Re: 334
Date: 2021-02-20 09:09 am (UTC)Re: 334
Date: 2021-02-20 09:12 am (UTC)Accomplice: You are, and I mean this whole-heartedly, an utter bloody stubborn self-sabotaging imbecile of a man.
Re: 334
Date: 2021-02-20 09:16 am (UTC)Re: 334
Date: 2021-02-20 09:23 am (UTC)Accomplice: Did you not even think about why I would be angry with you?
Accomplice: Do you truly believe that I would bother with asking you to retrieve my gift for you if I did not give a damn? I would have simply dedicated it to Cosmo otherwise.
Re: 334
Date: 2021-02-20 09:28 am (UTC)I did think you were fond of me
But I was not so certain that you trusted me
Re: 334
Date: 2021-02-20 09:30 am (UTC)Re: 334
Date: 2021-02-20 09:37 am (UTC)Re: 334
Date: 2021-02-20 09:39 am (UTC)Accomplice: I am tempted to ask what YOU think, but unfortunately I fear I have a rather good idea of what you think.
Accomplice: Or rather, what you are afraid of.
Re: 334
Date: 2021-02-20 09:44 am (UTC)Re: 334
Date: 2021-02-20 09:45 am (UTC)Re: 334
Date: 2021-02-20 09:47 am (UTC)Re: 334
Date: 2021-02-20 09:53 am (UTC)Accomplice: Then, is it so hard to guess the answer to your previous question?
Re: 334
Date: 2021-02-20 10:11 am (UTC)Absinthe: Thank you
Re: 334
Date: 2021-02-20 10:19 am (UTC)Accomplice: Yes, well.
Accomplice: I am a different kind of idiot.
Accomplice: A rather established fact by now.
Accomplice: ...
Accomplice: Whether to safeguard or break it is your choice.
Accomplice: Just... make the right one.
Accomplice: And there are still other considerations, of course. And even with Serenity's help it is possible that my body and mind will not be as forgiving as my heart. I trust you to be understanding about that, too.
Re: 334
Date: 2021-02-20 10:27 am (UTC)I have not once intended to rush you
And I do not wish to hurt you again.
Re: 334
Date: 2021-02-20 10:32 am (UTC)Accomplice: ...
Accomplice: About the memory...
Accomplice: Maybe it would be best if I showed you everything that happened.
Accomplice: There were... rather better moments, too.
Accomplice: And I think there were important things we've talked about. Myself and another part of you, I mean.
Accomplice: Though I do not know if it would be fine to involve Cosmo in it. We spoke of your past and your relationship with your brother... and I do not know how much of it he knows.
Re: 334
Date: 2021-02-20 05:07 pm (UTC)Whatever he does not know in there, I would be comfortable with him learning
Re: 334
Date: 2021-02-20 10:29 pm (UTC)Accomplice: ...
Accomplice: I want to say that I missed you, but I am scared to do so, as well.
Re: 334
Date: 2021-02-21 12:26 am (UTC)I do wish to yo see you, but there must be measures in place where you feel safe enough to do so
Re: 334
Date: 2021-02-21 01:56 pm (UTC)Accomplice: I believe Cosmo's presence will be enough.
Accomplice: But mostly I fear to be a manner of danger, myself.
Accomplice: You see...
Accomplice: Sigh.
Accomplice: It's hard to put into words.
Accomplice: I suppose I simply cannot tell how much of my reaction is genuinely mine and how much is born of fear.
Accomplice: Because back there I was terrified enough that I would have done anything to placate him. And now I cannot help but worry that my desire to see you is that fear seeking a way out.
Accomplice: If I wish to see you, it should be because I want to, not because I am desperate for your favour again.
[Well that fucking sucked to type out! Please appreciate his efforts at self-therapy! He's going to get a drink now!]
Re: 334
Date: 2021-02-21 06:50 pm (UTC)he doesn't know he's going to get a drink, but, ]
Absinthe: If that is your concern you need not see me
I do not want to make you feel as if you must, out of obligation